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Gary Green

Monday, August 21, 2006 

Stingray City, Grand Cayman

This one was the boyfriend's call. Grand Cayman was the second port on our Caribbean cruise and he wanted to check out Stingray City, which is an approximate 45 boat trip out to a sandbar about three feet deep, where you are surrounded by stingrays you can pet, feed, or in my case, paddle away from in shrieking mortal fear.

This one tried to kill me. I literally saw it make a complete u-turn and beeline it for my innocent shaky ankles. I flung my body back and accidentally belted Michael in the side of his face with my fist. He deserved it as far as I'm concerned for dragging me out there. Why the hell would I want to be flailing around in the Caribbean Sea when there's a Ben & Jerry's store on the ship? As punishment, I tucked my hat down and pretended to be asleep for the entire boat ride back, forcing Michael to single-handedly deal with the chatty German tourist with nothing of much interest to say, but the uncanny ability to present it with the most words possible. I heard a lot of "Oh wow!"s and "Cool!"s from Michael, but not much else.

I may look brave here, but notice that I am clearly standing behind Michael, ready to bolt should this evil sea ward of Lucifer break free of the tour guide's grip. Their texture is slimy and rough, and they suck food right out of your hand with the force of a Hoover vacuum. I wasn't the only one crying. There were others too, but they were all under the age of five and sporting floaties.

Here I am peeing in my trunks. I've kissed worse, but only after last call.

So I have noticed in the past few years you are very good at pretending to be asleep to have someone else deal with chatty people... (recall many nights driving back from SF with a chatty friend! )

MG I am totally on your side on this one, they look so sweet and fun I want to go in December. MG, will you come to deal with the chatty people ?

Seanis, if you are buying the tickets I'll ward off all the yapping tourists you want! :)

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