Gary Green

Thursday, August 31, 2006 

My Boyfriend is Disturbed (...and now the world knows it!) - Michael Granberry "A Winter's Tale"


Creepy boyfriend 'o mine, Michael Granberry, and his stop-motion horror short, A Winter's Tale is featured today on The Daily Reel's Top Ten Need to Watch Video! (in the top spot, I might add).

Set in a reclusive log cabin in the woods, A Winter's Tale is equal parts "Blair Witch" horror and bad-parenting psychodrama, with a lovely surprise at the end.


Congrats, baby! I love you!

The Daily Reel

11:11 AM | |

Wednesday, August 30, 2006 

When CNN Anchor Kyra Phillips Gossiped in the Ladies Room and Didn't Know Her Mic Was Still On

Remember that scene in the original Naked Gun movie where Leslie Nielsen goes to the men's room during the middle of the press conference, doesn't know his mic is still on, and proceeds to urinate, sing and pass gas as Nancy Marchand tries to make comments to the press about a visit from the Queen. Well, this is a lot like that, except that Leslie Nielsen is now played by CNN's Kyra Phillips, Nancy Marchand is now played by George W. Bush, and the queen is, well, I guess, me.

Favorite line?? - ""Brothers have to be, you know, protective. Except for mine. I've got to be protective of him...Yeah. He's married, three kids, but his wife is just a CONTROL FREAK!!!".

Laughed so hard I almost peed a little.


11:34 AM | |

Tuesday, August 29, 2006 

This Post is Entitled "Mario Lopez in the Shower on Nip/Tuck" in a Shameless Bid for More Tuesday Traffic


Mario Lopez in the shower on Nip/Tuck. Suddenly, Julian doesn't look so hot - Most Proper

Paris is on the bottom.... of the Billboard charts. The new album tanks... - New York Post

...but at least she can still get into a club, while poor Tara Reid is left out in the cold! - TMZ



Where should Tom go from here? Here are some suggestions - Worth 1000

1:30 PM | |

Saturday, August 26, 2006 

When Datalounge Commenter "Anonymous 14" Exhibits His or Her Tremendously Refined Taste

From the comment thread at Datalounge in regards to my blind school firepost, because I just can't get enough admiration!


"Thank you, R6!

I remembered reading a hilarious recap somewhere but couldn't remember where.

Now, remind me. Who the fuck is Gary Green? I must have originally gone to that site for some reason. I think he is SO cute."

1:28 PM | |

 

...When Niagra Falls Froze Over


Cynical-C once again comes through on my Saturday Starbucks cyber-browse with these amazing pics of the Falls completely fronzen into a sold mass of ice. No, the pics aren't faked or photoshopped, though there is next to zero chance of this ever happening again...

The American Falls have frozen over on six occasions since the keeping of records began. Each were attributed to ice jams that have actually curtailed the flow of the American Falls to mere trickles.

Unlike the Horseshoe Falls (which has never frozen over), the American Falls are susceptible to freezing because of the small amount of water flow. Normally the American Falls has a peak mean flow of 10,000 cubic feet of water per second. The winter mean water flow is reduced to less than 8,000 cubic feet of water per second. This minimal flow is barely sufficient to cover the rock face of the Falls. During harsh winters, ice frequently built up at eastern end of Goat Island causing an ice dam to reduce the water flow to the northern channel which feeds water to the American Falls. As a result water flow is restricted sufficiently that any remaining waters quickly freeze over.

The installation of the ice boom at the mouth of Lake Erie, the building of the International water control dam (which regulates water flow) and milder winters have all but eliminated the possibility of the American Falls ever completely freezing over in modern times.





Cynical-C

1:19 PM | |

Friday, August 25, 2006 

...When Tom and Jerry Put Down the Havanas and Picked up the Patch (Tom and Jerry Smoking)


Smoking scenes in vintage cartoon episodes of Tom and Jerry, The Flintstones and Scooby-Doo are being reworked after a viewer complained they were not suitable for children.

Cartoon editors are painstakingly working through more than 1,500 episodes of Tom and Jerry cartoons, painting out images of characters smoking frame by frame.

Turner Broadcasting, which owns the rights to the cartoons, claims the move is a voluntary step. But don't believe it when you hear it was spurred on by an angry viewer complaining about suitability for children. This kind of thing is done to snag a little good PR. Smoking is the evil of the moment, so everyone who comes out against it gets to paint themselves as conscientious and concerned about the state of American youth.

Really, if Turner gave a shit about children being exposed to negative influences, they could recommend that someone turn off the television and send the little tykes out into the open air for some Red Light Green Light or fort building. Do kids even do that kind of thing anymore?

Instead, we get more revisionist history, and little Tom and Jerry pay the price. They'll still be slamming each other in the head with frying pans. They'll still be sticking each other's tongues into live outlets. But at least they won't have blacklung.

And while it's true that I did take up smoking when I was pretty young (on and off from the age of 14 until my early thirties), it wasn't becasue I saw a cartoon cat doing it. It was because I saw Humphrey Bogart, Bette Davis, and Rock Hudson doing it. Turner owns the rights to a lot of those movies too, but it's much easier to attack cartoons. They're silly and light-hearted and their goal is to entertain kids, so they can't have much cultural relevance.

On the upside, I'm glad to hear Tom and Jerry cartoons are still playing somewhere.

And I'm sure un-edited versions are available in some over-priced, under-whelming DVD set.

I blame George Lucas.



10:56 AM | |

Thursday, August 24, 2006 

Baby Hummingbird Nest


That's a standard toothpick being used for perspective. Check out the hatching via 2003's baby hummingbird cam by clicking here!

2:32 PM | |

 

John the Revelator: Unofficial Music Video Targeting You Know Who

Launched only four days ago on YouTube, this unofficial video for Depeche Mode's "John the Revelator" has of this moment logged over 31,000 hits and that's certainly just the beginning.

I'm placing it here not to endorse the message but because it's probably the only anti-Bush video I've seen on the Tube that managed to hold my attention until the very end (that hokey Jib Jab junk looks like K-1 scribbling compared to this).

The description on YouTube attributes its creation only to a"Depeche Mode fan/outraged American" though I'm sure his name will be on the lips of everyone next week, excluding anyone who sits in front of a camera at FOX NEWS



via Scott-o-rama

12:51 PM | |

 

LOST Season Three...



...begins October 4. Get the Season Three promo poster here!

12:39 PM | |

 

The Little House on the Prairie Blind School Fire.


Yesterday, both DataLounge and Television Without Pity happened to pick up my entry from a couple months back about the Little House Blind School Fire and I want to thank everyone for the great comments and for the massive influx of hits.

Check it out if you haven't yet, and be sure to watch THE BOX, created by my man Michael. If you click on the ad at the end of the movie, a couple pennies trickle his way. Thanks!

9:46 AM | |

Wednesday, August 23, 2006 

Hitler's Cross Restaurant - Bombay, India (Seriously!)


When Hitler's Cross restaurant opened four days ago in a Bombay suburb, local politicians and movie industry types were on hand to celebrate beneath the posters of the Nazi leader and swastikas.

The owner insisted then -- and still does -- that the name and theme of his new eatery is only meant to attract attention, even if it has outraged Bombay's Jewish community.



"It's really made people very upset that a person responsible for the massacre of 6 million Jews can be glorified," Elijah

Jacob, one of the community's leaders, told The Associated Press on Wednesday.
But owner Puneet Sablok has refused to back down, and apart from Bombay's 4,500 Jews, there's been little controversy in India, where Holocaust awareness is limited, Hitler is regarded as just another historical figure and swastikas are an ancient Hindu symbol, displayed all over to bring luck. There are just 5,500 Jews in all of India.

via Boston.com

11:57 AM | |

Tuesday, August 22, 2006 

Move Over, McConaughey...


There's a hotter Matt in the surf.

5:25 PM | |

 

...When People Had to be Convinced to Drink Coffee

Anyone else remember this commercial? Was there actually an era when ad time purchases were necessary to promote the drinking of coffee? What were we all doing in the mornings back then? Sipping Tang and bumping into one another all bleary-eyed?

Hold on tight to your dream people! Keep downing that java. You could win a nameless award for best fake look of surprise like Cicely Tyson!



via Neatorama

1:15 PM | |

Monday, August 21, 2006 

Stingray City, Grand Cayman

This one was the boyfriend's call. Grand Cayman was the second port on our Caribbean cruise and he wanted to check out Stingray City, which is an approximate 45 boat trip out to a sandbar about three feet deep, where you are surrounded by stingrays you can pet, feed, or in my case, paddle away from in shrieking mortal fear.

This one tried to kill me. I literally saw it make a complete u-turn and beeline it for my innocent shaky ankles. I flung my body back and accidentally belted Michael in the side of his face with my fist. He deserved it as far as I'm concerned for dragging me out there. Why the hell would I want to be flailing around in the Caribbean Sea when there's a Ben & Jerry's store on the ship? As punishment, I tucked my hat down and pretended to be asleep for the entire boat ride back, forcing Michael to single-handedly deal with the chatty German tourist with nothing of much interest to say, but the uncanny ability to present it with the most words possible. I heard a lot of "Oh wow!"s and "Cool!"s from Michael, but not much else.

I may look brave here, but notice that I am clearly standing behind Michael, ready to bolt should this evil sea ward of Lucifer break free of the tour guide's grip. Their texture is slimy and rough, and they suck food right out of your hand with the force of a Hoover vacuum. I wasn't the only one crying. There were others too, but they were all under the age of five and sporting floaties.

Here I am peeing in my trunks. I've kissed worse, but only after last call.






9:16 PM | |

Friday, August 18, 2006 

A Little Promo Goes a Long Way (Turn Up Your Sound)

The Seaspn 3 promo for Housewives is hot, includes Nicollette. and shows you that as gorgeous as Eva Longoria is, she's even better as a blond. I just caught this commercial on my tv, and it stopped me from all that I was doing. Ready to forgive and forget for Season 2? The premiere is September 24.

12:51 PM | |

Thursday, August 17, 2006 

Obsessive Toilet Flushing Cat

Two minutes and forty-seven seconds of feline flushing fun! (Yes, I realize this is the second kitty-plus-toilet vid I have posted on here. Thanks for pointing it out!)

2:49 PM | |

 

Justin Timberlake on The Ellen DeGeneres Show - Monday September 4

Fresh off its third Daytime Emmy Award win for Outstanding Talk Show, “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” will kick off its fourth season September 4th with the hottest ticket in town when Ellen returns to New York with Grammy Award winning Justin Timberlake!

AOL will sponsor this special show taking place at East Meadow in New York’s Central Park. Justin will join Ellen in an exclusive talk show appearance for the full hour and will heat up the stage when he performs his newest single, “Sexyback” from his upcoming album “Future Sex/Lovesongs, “

12:26 PM | |

Wednesday, August 16, 2006 

1950's Commerical Animation Cels


Thanks to Michael who checked out my racist 1950's commercial below and led me to a collection of art and photos from the Ray Patin Studios. Great stuff. Check out the gallery here and enjoy! (Click on the TICK TOCK TOYS link and the bottom for more cool retro stuff!)

3:54 PM | |

 

Politically Incorrect Jell-o Commerical from the 50's

Ah, who can forget the days of open racial stereotyping! Humor could be found anywhere. (P.S. - if anyone can find me the "ancient Chinese secret" Calgon commerical from the 1970's, there's a shiny new quarter coming your way!)

via Neatorama


10:09 AM | |

Monday, August 14, 2006 

...When It's Easier to Pic Than Post

As I settle into the gig at Ellen, here are some pics from the Caribbean cruise, the "On Board" series. "Swimming with Stingrays" and "Gluttony in the Grand Dining Room" to come. Enjoy!















10:48 PM | |

Friday, August 04, 2006 

Crazy Japanese Little Red Riding Hood

Um... can anyone explain this to me?

2:41 PM | |

 

Tornado Chasers at Jim Reed Photography


The guys over at Jim Reed Photography sent this video in to YouTube. These guys are professional storm chasers. They spend their lives trying to find severe storm systems. This time the storm found them. - very awesome.


11:07 AM | |

 

More Betty Chu and Angora Rabbits








10:17 AM | |

Thursday, August 03, 2006 

...When Betty Chu and Her Amazing Angora Rabbits Nearly Stumped the Panel on "I've Got a Secret"


Look at the pic, watch the video, and enjoy. This was one of my absolute favorite segments from I've Got a Secret, and Betty Chu was the perfect guest. The reactions from each of the blindfolded panelists are priceless, and who'd have thought at the last second... Billy Bean pulls a rabbit of his own out of his hat! Thanks to Neatorama.com, where I happened upon a link to Betty Chu and discovered her rabbits, which led me to booking her for the show.


9:28 AM | |

Wednesday, August 02, 2006 

...When Elizabeth Hasselbeck Melted Down on The View

This morning's The View, in which Elizabeth Hasselbeck presents the standard second-grade attack on post-fertilization birth control, and Barbara provides the standard second-grade defense for it. Fun if for nothing else just to watch LizFreak get reprimanded (again second-grade style), and to watch Mother Superior awkwardly spit out "sex pervert" as if we don't all know she's the freakiest one at the table. And when the hell is Lisa Loeb gonna ditch those glasses and get Lasix?



And the aftermath via Perez Hilton. I can't wait to watch Liz and Rosie go at it in the fall!

10:53 AM | |

Tuesday, August 01, 2006 

...When Soap Hunk Joshua Morrow Got Shirtless on the Basketball Court

Joshua Morrow has been playing Nic Newman on The Young and the Restless since 1994. I have never been a fan of the show or of Morrow. He always looked like a scrawny little punk to me.

Well, thanks to Tivo and the magic that is SoapNet's "same day episodes at night," I have had the opportunity to check in on Joshua, who has most decidely... shall we say... matured.



Okay, first off, I have to say I have enjoyed being unemployed this summer as the number of hot daytime guys taking off their shirts on basketball courts seems to have really taken a jump over previous years. As for Joshua, the facial hair is something I'm usually not fond of, but it's definitely working on him. Gives him a "good guy... mostly" look. And check out the back and shoulder definition too. Girl's been getting her shrugs on back in that dressing room.




One time I asked a shirtless bartender at The Abbey who had just about the same build as Joshua's, "Hey man, what do I have to do to get a body like that?" He looked me up and down, shook his head and said, "it's too late."

A sad final note. The fair Joshua is, alas, as straight as they come. He's got a wife and two kids.

God, I miss the nineties, when all soap hunks were gay and had poofy moussed-up hair with highlights and wore pink.

Or maybe that was just me.

7:59 PM | |

 

Blame Canada


Canada.com has obtained this picture of Mel Gibson less than an hour before being pulled over in his car and arrested for driving under the influence in Malibu. Here, Mel meets with leaders of the Jewish community to discern the appropriate path for healing.
Update: Canada.com has removed the pic and advise that it will be available in the next issue of IN TOUCH. But I ain't heard nothing, so copy it from here while you can.

1:59 PM | |

 

Ty Treadway, Lisa Rinna and Calendar Hunks. One of These People Can Keep Their Shirt On


Men of Mortuaries is the brainchild of California funeral home director Ken McKenzie, whose calendar of 12 bodybuilder morticians will benefit breast cancer patients. McKenzie, whose sister is a breast cancer survivor, said he wanted to find a way to help patients struggling with finances.

According to McKenzie: "Whenever you hear about a funeral director it's a guy in a suit in the corner with a hump on their back. The hardest part was finding 12 attractive funeral directors. That just doesn't happen. This industry is just not known for that." (via Towleroad)


The sad news that after four seasons, SOAPnet has decided NOT to renew its nightly gabber Soap Talk means that now I, along with at least 18 other people across the country will have to finally get off the couch and maybe go get a few minutes of fresh air and exercise, at least until SoapNet replaces it with a nightly repeat of Passions (Come on, people! They have a mermaid!). On the upside, Ty Treadway is now free to return to the shirtless world of daytime tv where he belongs. And Lisa Rinna? Luckily she has her lips to fall back on.

1:12 PM | |

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